Thursday, December 2, 2010

WikiLeaks to Be Sent to the Moon

December 1, 2010 - Following the release of a quarter-million confidential U.S. government documents, and subsequent controversy, WikiLeaks has not only been banned by Amazon, the entire Internet, and society, but any notion of it will be burned, deleted, and sent to the moon, according to embellished, anonymous sources.

The decision came during a secret meeting between anonymous parties, the details of which are intended to remain secret, but inevitably will be leaked somewhere. Embellished news sources say that there was simply nowhere and no one that would accept WikiLeaks as an entity anywhere on Earth because, “The organization simply cannot be trusted.”

“There is not a server on the planet that would host them,” said an anonymous Internet executive.

The website revealed many documents pertaining to international crises and conflicts, and various issues dealing with embassies around the world. Some issues covered include a nuclear fuel standoff in Pakistan, political troubles in North Korea, how to get rid of everyone in Guantanamo Bay prison, and corruption in the Afghan government. “None of this is anything that anyone couldn’t figure out for themselves,” said a representative of WikiLeaks under Oath of Embellishment.

“We’ll conduct an investigation into the leak of these sensitive cables. For now, I’d like to instruct workers in the White House to move those cables on the floor for the Christmas lights before anyone gets hurt,” President Obama said in an unrelated statement.

Other events the site leaked were the hacking of Google computers in China, which is done everywhere else, and donations to Al Qaeda in the Middle East, and…. (static) the worldwide (white noise)… wait…. Just breaking an art..ic..1.. three – two- one… blastoff!!!

The editors of Embellished-1 News would like to note that this was just a simulated takeoff, and that no official information has been leaked by this publication. The fake newsletter is still safe at home on Earth, and has no presence on the moon… yet.