Cleaning Staff Work to Remove Michael Phelps' Body Parts from Pool Wall

Bejing, China - August 14th - According to Beijing 2008 sources, cleaning personnel at the Water Cube were still removing body parts Thursday night belonging to Michael Phelps, following a race where he was going faster than any swimmer had gone before, but couldn't slow down enough not to be "squashed like an accordion" against the pool wall .

During the 200 meter individual medley on Friday morning, Beijing time, sources say Phelps came within 7 miles per hour of breaking the sound barrier, in the water. "That's way too fast," said an anonymous analyst. Unfortunately, the 23-year-old swimmer could not slow down in time on final approach to the wall. His mom and 2 sisters watched in horror and disbelief.

Michael Phelps has won 5 gold metals in this Olympics, and sadly will not get to compete for several more. The incident, according to Olympic coordinators, delayed the 100 meter butterfly qualifier for an hour, but will not delay any other swimming events.

The gold metal was still awarded post-mortem to Phelps for his final swim.